Dude.

A few little fun tidbits to share with you:

From BBC Online. First off, Vice President Cheney has apparently gotten tired of being only indirectly responsible for deaths and has decided to start shooting people himself. This is why guns and old-guys-with-bad-hearts-and-worse-aim don’t mix.

Vaguely less grim and also from BBC online, all my friends from the Mediterranean Archaeology department are probably in nearly-orgasmic joy over the Grecian Tomb which has been found near Pella (where Alexander the Great was born). This is actually pretty cool and you might learn something if you read the article so give it a try.

Speaking of paroxysms of dirty joy, my friend down in London is also going to be needing to go to her bunk after seeing the preview for Mission Impossible III. In a blink-and-you-miss-it moment you see the Tom Cruise will be dressing as a priest at some point in the coming travesty of a movie (and further supporting the inevitable truth that the man is gayer than the day is long).

And finally, I can happily report that migraines which are proof against Imitrex, Aleve, and Excedrine can actually be taken down by a very full glass of Kettle One vodka. Who knew?

OK, not finally. REALLY finally, I’ve got exactly 1000 hits on home.ashrhodes.com as of now. Woo hoo!

And that’s the news for now.
~DTAR.

Random Pictures.

I’ve got a pretty groovy phone (the Sony Ericsson S700i), and among its many features is a 1.3 megapixel digital camera. Of course I’m a shutterbug and already have a digital camera as well as a nice film camera, but how great is having a digital camera always in your pocket? Well not too great apparently, because the images don’t take that well, though with tehcnological advances continuing I have no doubt they’ll soon approach the 2 MPx mark (which is what my crappy digital camera is anyway) which will be a good thing.

I digress however. The point is that I was going to write a whole blog making fun of something I saw in the store today, but I realized I had taken pictures of tons of cool stuff that I should show everyone. But first, let me talk about the original idea, Dortio’s new product: Latinos. I’d just like you to take a moment and think about the protests which would occur should Dorito make the mistake of marketing this item somewhere where people of Latin descent actually live. It’s OK in Britain . . . there’re probably only about 100 Latinos in all of Great Britain, but it sure does make everyone from the Southwestern US laugh when we see it!

Moving on. A few month ago I went to dinner with a few of the GCMRS people, and on our way out of the worst Mexican food restaurant in the entire world (obviously none of the 100 previously mentioned Latinos own this eating establishment!), we saw a shiny yellow sports car called the Arizona. It was ironic and made me laugh. Speaking of making me laugh and Arizona, just this past weekend at work, I looked down the lane and saw a friend of mine named Joe being very strange. He does not play an instrument as far as I know, but when I gazed down the lane, there he was, sitting on a milk crate, craddling a violin. Turns out he was just holding it for the busker for a moment, but I needed a picture (and notice the AZ Diamondbacks hat he’s got! It was a gift from me!).

Jinty’s has been over-run by idiots. We’ve got idiots who are dressing up (like Pirate Phil and Pirate Rab), and we’ve got idiots who are trying to hurt themselves (like Lauren playing Karate Kid on a bollard outside, or Mountain copying her — or worse yet, his dismount).

Like all healthy children, I grew up watching violent cartoons. Though my heart has been warmed by the resurected interest in shows like He-Man and the Thundercats, it is usually overweight scary guys (like me) who wear such paraphanelia. I was so pleasantly suprised by a beautiful woman wearing a Thundercats T-Shirt, that I just had to take a picture. Two more things, that’s it. First is a picture of the sort of sparklers we were playing with at our 4th of July celebration tonight. Pretty sad, huh? And last is the prettiest picture I’ve taken with my phone. Kinda nice, isn’t it? OH! And a photo of Flogging Molly that I took at the concert. Pretty good for being jostled everywhere, don’t you think?

And therein lies show and tell. Hope you enjoyed.

Slainte.

“But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.”
~56 Angry Men – The Declaration of Independence – Were these guys badasses or what? To quote “National Treasure”: “To High Treason”

Funniest thing I’ve seen all day / HOLY SH*T!!!

Funniest thing: A commercial for Tango Clear wherein at the end a penquin is slapping a woman on the leg with a fish. Have I mentioned I love random stuff?

HOLY SH*T!!!: My cousin Travis and my cousin-in-law Rosie are expecting! They got married about four months before C and I did, and here they are all pregnant like! I believe their offspring is due in September. This isn’t apparently something they’ve been planning for a while or anything, more a case of the 1% that “the Pill” is ineffective against (as Trav said: It’s a numbers game, and if you play often enough you’re gonna hit that 1%). Still I could tell from the YIM conversation that I had with him, he is absolutely thrilled with his upcoming Daddy-hood. Scared to death, but thrilled nonetheless.

So I say congrats to the young couple!

Slainte.

“My grandfather got tossed from Norway for getting my grandmother pregnant before they got married.”
~Eric Szmanda (as Greg Sanders) – “CSI: Las Vegas” – Episode 3.3 – “Let the Seller Beware”

Something amazing from a surprising source.

Despite its unfortunate name, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader is actually full of really great information, most of which is even true! I managed to get myself a copy of Plunges into History, which has amused me greatly. Today I found my favorite thus far, and thought I would share it with you:

BEST LIST OF BESTS
They’ve withstood the test of time, they’ve beaten out the competition, they’re the all-time greats: Uncle John’s choices for some of the best stuff ever.
Best Writing Implement: The computer. Because the idea of going back and retyping (or, hell, repenning) an entire book should fill any writer with suicidal horror.

Best Hat: The fedora. Any hat that can make a mug like Humphrey Bogart’s look good has something going for it.

Best Method of Execution: The guillotine. You know, it was created to be a humane way of chopping off someone’s head. Someone should have thought that point all the way through.

Best Means of Transportation: The locomotive. Probably the single most important tool in opening up North America, which is why the natives spent so much time wrecking the rails.

Best Use of the Wheel: In clocks, to provide accurate, standard measurements of time. Western Civilization as we know it would not be possible without it; you decide whether this is good or bad.

Best Phallic Symbol: The Washington Monument. Started in the early 1800s, paused during the Civil War (constructus interruptus), completed thereafter.

Best Useless Structure: The Eiffel Tower. It was built to represent progress. The French hated it. Insert your own punchline.

Best Cleaning Material:Soap. Just soap. Around for millennia, its use as a cleaning agent only really picked up in the last couple of hundred years. In the 19th century, Justus von Liebig said that the amount of soap consumed by a nation was an accurate measure of its wealth and civilization. So, pick up a bar and lather up!

Best Use of Propaganda: Shakespeare’s Richard III. As it happens, Richard III wasn’t a hunchback or a mass murderer. (He wasn’t a very nice guy, but who among royalty back then was?) Why such a nasty representation of Richard? Could be because the reigning monarch at the time was the granddaughter of the man who overthrew him. Just a guess.

Best Dance: The waltz. When it came out, it brought Vienna into chaos, as people neglected home and business to dance night and day and night again. (Because people loved dancing so close to each other! The horror!) Made the Macarena look like a blip. Which it was, but even so.

Best Drug: Nicotine. Percentage-wise, it’s easier to quit heroin than nicotine. Although admittedly, heroin doesn’t advertise in trendy magazines with young men with washboard stomachs sail-boarding with hot chicks in bikinis.

Best Inappropriate Remark: “Let them eat cake.” Purists note that Marie actually said “brioche,” which is a sweet bread, and not exactly cake, but, you know, it’s the thought that counts.

Best Board Game: Chess, which was intoduced to Europe at the beginning of this millenium. Why is it the best? Because no one gives a damn that a computer can beat a human at Monopoly.

Best Use of an Unpleasant Climate by a Defending Army: Russia. Russian winters did in Napoleon and Hitler. Not bad. Oh, sure, the Russian soldiers helped. But look how successful they’ve been in warm-weather wars, and you’ll know. It was the snow.

Best Proof the Human Race Is Not Merely a Festering Sore on the Face of This Over-Burdened Globe: Beethoven’s ninth symphony, which is quite possibly the greatest artistic achievement the human race may accomplish. If all the universe gets out of us is that one piece of music, I figure we’ve paid our way. However, it means we’ve peaked. Let’s try not to make the decline too steep, okay? Thanks.
That’s it. I like it. In fact, I like it so much, I’m just gonna stick with that today. I’ll close with the same quote that they did.

Slainte.

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”
~Winston Churchill