Boo Fricken Ya

I’ll be perfectly honest and admit that I failed a test recently. No, not Latin. I said recently. And I got a D, thank you very much. No, I am ashamed to admit that I joined the vast proportion of people out there and failed the ASREB school test on Thursday. This was very sad-making for Ash. I had it all planned out. Pass the test Thursday, take the state exam this week as well as the 6-hour contracts boot camp course, and then start at KW on Monday the 30th.

This did not happen. I got a 73% when only allowed a 75%. This means I missed it by four questions. This really makes for a sad Ash.

But today I retook and now a very happy Ash stands (sits) before you (well, before a computer screen). I felt a tiny bit better about today’s test and happily enough that was reflected in my grade. I went from failing by four questions to passing by four questions. While it is true that it might be said that this is not exactly the greatest victory ever recorded, I would have to say to those people: SCREW YOU AT LEAST I PASSED! WOO HOO! (how’s that for an awkward sentence?)

So now I will be taking the state test on Friday . . . in Casa Grande . . . ewwwwww. After that, assuming I pass (which, knock on wood, shouldn’t be too hard as it is reputed to be at most half as hard as the school test), I’ll attend the contracts class on Saturday, and will be able to start Camp 4-4-3 on Monday on schedule. Which of course will leave me free to wreck havoc on the world when Bowlesie is in this general hemisphere in late February/early March.

Yup yup yup, things seem to be coming together at least a little bit. Of course, now that I’ve said that something is bound to happen. Look both ways before crossing the street everyone!

Stay chill.


A genuinely serious moment.

I know that I tend to be irreverent on this blog and will make fun of pretty much anything to get a laugh, if only from myself. But this time I want to talk about something serious. Those horrified by this thought may feel free to turn away now.

Yesterday evening I got a call out of the middle of nowhere from a young woman who is a recent friend of mine. We’ll call her S. S had previously told me she had a first date with some new guy last night, and I viewed it as a bad sign that she was crying so hard I couldn’t understand her. Apparently she was the victim of an attempted date rape. I did what I could to calm her down over the phone and asked if she was hurt. No. Did she want to go to the hospital? No. Did she want to go to the police? No. Why not? Because who would believe her?

Fucking hell.

S’s attitude seems to be pretty common in my regrettably not-terribly-limited experience. She agreed to the blind date (which was arranged via an online dating service) and so somehow that makes her a slut, which means that no one would believe that she wasn’t inviting it upon herself. I’ve known no fewer than a half dozen women who have been raped or have suffered attempted rape (that I know of) and of all of them, only two have ever taken the matter to the police (and one of those was because her parents found out and she was a minor at the time). All the rest felt as S did that even if they did come forward, the police would believe the man over the woman. And to my everlasting disappointment, the police did believe the rapist over my friend the other time that they were brought in. No arrest was ever made. As I was the one who convinced her to make the report, my disappointment is doubled (and if you should happen to read this, and you know who you are, I’m still sorry my dear).

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with our society that women who have had one of the ultimate trespasses committed against them are not given the benefit of the doubt in such a case? At the very least they are owed an investigation! Of course we must continue to presume innocence until guilt is established (especially because I’ve also known a guy who was wrongfully accused of rape and suffered for it), but I’ve seen how some people in positions of authority handle this with my own two eyes and I can’t even put into words my disgust.

Rant’s over. Sorry. I just get a little . . . angry . . . when people don’t treat women with respect.

As a final note, if anyone out there reading this got a little frisky with a girl last night who said “no” when she meant “yes,” then just wait. Karma will get you in the end.


An observation:

Asking me to choose which of the Corr girls is the most attractive is like asking a parent which child they like best. Seriously, how could anyone choose? Well, having just googled them, I guess I’ll have to choose the lead singer, Andrea, as the other two are already hitched. Damn. Oh well.

So, Andrea. Come on down. I guess you’ll have to do!


P.S. What brought this on? I randomly caught the music video for Runaway and was just struck by how truly and amazingly gorgeous all three of them are. Especially my future wife, Andrea.

Et voila.

The two of you out there who don’t read my blog on LiveJournal and prefer to go instead directly to will have already noticed that I have enacted a pretty major change. All of my personal stuff now resides at the address This will allow me to turn the root domain into a site for my soon-to-be Real Estate business.

This is also the perfect time to announce that baring any unforeseen circumstances, I’ll be “hanging my shingle” with Keller Williams at the Legacy One branch (which doesn’t have a website, but if you want to see something, check out my Branch Manager, JoAnn George’s website or my Sponsor, Cris Tutera’s website). I’m pretty stoked about this and am a great fan of KW’s modus operandi which emphasizes education but at the same time, to be perfectly blunt, let’s me keep a lot of the money I earn.

So yay. And please. If you or someone you know is looking to buy or sell in the Phoenix Metro Area or in the Tucson Area, LET ME KNOW! 😉


Owen Westley Reich

. . . was born on January 15th at about 3:30am. He weighs 8 pounds and 7 ounces. He caused his mother no end of trouble and despite being on pitocin for almost 48 hours, he still needed a C-Section in order to join us in this world.

Now I’ve not quite been able to figure out what this kid is to me. His Dad, Travis, is my first cousin (his mother and my father are siblings). So does this mean that he’s my first cousin once removed? Or second cousin? Or just some random crying thing?

For those who like babies (Meggan), pictures will almost certainly be posted some time soon. Have a happy Sunday!


I just love this shit

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

5. Don’t search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

That would be the book that I’m reading: A Secret Atlas by Michael A. Stackpole (who lives in AZ and has a BA in History. How could I not love this guy?).

The fifth sentence doesn’t make much sense alone, so I’ve included the
sixth as well: “Purple lightning wreathed her limbs, shocking them
straight. Her head flew back, her dowager’s hump vanished as her spine

This is an account of a “magical” healing that one of the main characters witness, though
there is some question as to its legitimacy. Oh yeah, and small wonder
I’m reading fantasy. I seemed to read nothing but chronicles for two
plus years, I’ve got a whole lot of trash fiction to get caught up on!
Thanks for the little doo-hickey which provided me a short-lived distraction during my migraine-of-the-year.

Take care, everyone.

Oh yeah.

Previously mentioned was the fact that my actual MPhil degree had arrived and that it wasn’t terribly impressive. In Latin, yes. Impressive, no. Well, I’ve gotten it framed (another $166 added on to my $80K) and now you can see what I mean (click on it for a larger image). Taken from an angle so that I wasn’t reflected and in black and white because as I mentioned, I’m not yet quite perfect with my D2X, and was having problems with the color tone. But you can at least read it. Assuming you can, you know, read latin.



P.S. I can’t for the life of me figure out why there’s the weird gradient thing going on (in Firefox. In IE, it’s a checked pattern). It’s not present in my images while in photoshop or anything like that, so I can only assume the trouble comes from the browsers. Sorry about that.

Eh, why not.

I just went another night with no sleep, so this seems interesting to me at the moment so I stole it from and filled it out. Enjoy. Or don’t. Whatever.

In 2005 I…

(x) stayed single . . . more or less
( ) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
(x) made-out
( ) made-out in a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) kissed in the rain
( ) fell in love
( ) fell in love with a fool
( ) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else’s heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) had a good relationship with someone
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
( ) “came out of the closet”
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) proposed to someone
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
( ) dated someone you’ll never forget
(x) done something you’ve regretted, relationship-wise
(x) lost your true love forever
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under mistletoe
( ) had sex in a car


( ) got a promotion
(x) got a pay raise
( ) changed jobs
( ) lost your job
(x) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss’ daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
( ) got straight A’s
(x) met one teacher you really like
(x) met one teacher you really hated
( ) found the subject you love
( ) failed a class
(x) cut class
(x) skipped school
(x) got into a (verbal) fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
( ) discovered a new talent
( ) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(xxxx) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embarrassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) got lead in the school play
(x) were involved in something you’ll never forget


(x) painted/drew a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
( ) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
( ) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
(x) visited a foreign country
(x) visited a foreign state
(x) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
(x) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
( )dyed your hair
(x) came close to losing your life
(x) someone close to you died
(x) reunited with a friend
( ) made an accomplishment that shocked everyone
(x) realized your truest friends
(x) told a secret that would ruin your life if revealed
(x) threw a wild party
(x) went to a wild party
(x) drank alcohol
(x)got drunk
( ) got arrested
(x) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
( ) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
( ) saw your favorite band live
(x) did something you want to tell everyone
(x) Enjoyed this year overall
(x) had a really short relationship
( ) still like that person
(x) Did something crazy
(x) Made big plans that fell through
(x) got a cell phone
( ) sang in public
(x) Made new friends
( ) met someone that if you lost them it would kill you

NOTE: Very specifically, this is for 2005. Were it for earlier, at least a half dozen answers would be different.

Take care, y’all.


Regis sucks.

I’m not a huge fan of Dick Clark or anything either, I just don’t think Regis needs any more time on TV. Plus, it was pointed out to me that the redheaded woman who he was standing with right there at the end had better have been his wife, otherwise he was getting entirely too ass-grabby with a stranger! The party which I ended up attending was hosted by my brother’s sister-in-law’s husband. Could I have just said my friends Nicki and Joe? Yeah. But where would be the fun in that? I had a grand time, though at least half the guests wussed out before the ball dropped and went home. Very dissappointed. Not nearly as dissappointed as I was that I didn’t get to kiss Spencer’s sister-in-law’s husband’s brother’s ex-girlfriend who was very cute, but that’s really my own fault. I had had a few when she arrived and didn’t feel confident in my own ability to create cogent sentences and wasn’t really interested in humiliating myself tonight (and no, it’s not that I had drunk that much, it’s just that I always get tongue-tied when I speak to pretty strangers, so booze wouldn’t have been a help), so I didn’t really talk to her one-on-one at all the whole evening. And that brings us to the resolutions.

I resolve to:
*Find a woman who is smart, attractive, funny, and loyal to take out on at least a couple of dates.
*Find a job which I enjoy and pays me a livable wage.
*Diet/Exercise until I’m not mortified to go sans t-shirt at a pool.

Three’s good. Don’t want to try and over-exert myself or anything!

I hope you guys all had a really great evening. Despite my lack of celebratory kiss, I really did have a good time. I particularly enjoyed putting Spence out of the poker game first since he was the big winner at the game last night. The jackass.

Take care everyone!