I am fairly infamous amongst my family in my dislike for zoos. When I was younger I was like any other kid in loving them (so I’m told), but as I grew older I started being a bit snide and calling them “animal jail,” and as an adult I’ve basically refused to go.

But apparently I have a price.

That price is an adorable brown bear which will wave at you if you throw him bread.

No shit, my heart just melts every time I see that video. I can’t even stand it. I have had a thing for bears since just about forever, and when I found out that this guy’s home was “near” Seattle, I demanded we go.

Then I forgot about it.

Well, this trip to Seattle, after extracting a dirty-rotten-sneaky promise from me that I would stay in the car the entire time and wouldn’t try and get myself killed (I, like a complete chump, agreed . . . though I crossed my fingers because I know wife/mom tricks when I see them), Kendra told me that we were going to go drive up to the Olympic Game Farm to see the waving bear.

I started bouncing like a 4 year old who was told they were going to Disneyland for the first time.

So we got here. And then the next day we start driving. And driving. And driving. Jesus christ, did we drive. You know why Washingtonians are such hippies? Because they feel guilty about how much gas they burn just having to go anywhere. They’re destroying the environment just getting to other parts of their own damned state because they can’t build a straight road.

Anyway. We got to the park about a hundred years later, and it was HOT. The kids had blessedly slept the whole way, but we woke Mal up so he could look at all of the animals as we drove through the whole park. He LOVED all of them . . . except the bison who were about as big as the suburban that we were driving and chased us when we moved on. “Hey! You have more bread! Give us BREEEAAAAADDDDD!!” Yeah, he didn’t like that at ALL.

But the point to this whole story? The bears were there. And they were just wonderfully glorious.

But it was too damned hot. There was no waving.

They were just sitting there clearly saying “Just give me a snack if you want. Or don’t. I don’t care. What, you think I’m a dancing bear just for you?! Do you have any idea how many inches of fat I have on my body at any one time? No really, I’m asking. Because I think I may need to try Paleo.”

Bears can be vain. Silly bears.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

Here are some photos from the trip. If you’re in the Washington State area . . . well, you’ve probably been before or have strong opinions about the place. But if you haven’t then it was well worth the visit.

Plus, bears.

(and Mal, were he older, would be upset if I didn’t point out: a choo choo).

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