How many? Huh? HUH?!?!

Just how many blind dates am I going to have to go on before I find something? Seriously. I’ve been back in the US for a bit more than three months. In that time I’ve gone on absolutely no fewer than a half dozen “blind” dates (in this world of e-mail and text messaging, I had at least communicated in some way with all of them) and absolutely all of them have been complete failures. Of the half dozen that absolutely spring to mind (there have been more, but I think I’ve blanked them out or something), I only met one of the girls again and that’s because we’ve acknowledged that we’d be better friends than lovers.

Today was the most recent. Seemed like a very sweet girl, and we’ve been exchanging e-mails for a while now. Lots of stuff in common including being pretty seriously fucked over by our respective long-term ex’s and a mutual love for the theatre. So I agree to meet the girl at 12:15 at a restaurant in Phoenix. At 11 I get a text that she’s running way late, can we make it 1:30 instead. Sure, no prob. Get there at 1:30 and wait. And wait. Text her. She’s stuck in traffic but is only five minutes away. Wait some more. Text again. She’s apparently super nervous and is sitting in her car in a parking lot afraid to come in. This I admit is endearing except for the fact that it’s now 2:30 and I’m tired of waiting. So I go meet her at her car. I coax her out of it, we get in the restaurant and she starts talking . . .

. . . and never stops.


I can talk a lot if given a subject that I love. But we’re talking 3 and a half hours here and I’m not at all exagerating. I had to finally cut her off, kiss her on the cheek, and say how nice it was to meet her before going to get in my car.

Again, I could count this as endearing but while sitting there trying to continue to nod and smile, I realized that this isn’t just the nervous chatter that some people do when in situations they’re not comfortable with. This is the never-ending stream of information about the most worthless aspects of the lives of the terminally self-absorbed. It’s really a shame too, because she’s a very cute girl, we DO have a lot in common, and all could have possibly gone well . . . if she cared about anything outside of her own life.

Ugh. This is upsetting. Mostly because I’m starting to get the totally-unfair-but-still-compelling-feeling that if a girl doesn’t have a boyfriend when she gets to be my age (26) then there’s every possibility that there’s something bloody wrong with her!

So what does that say about me?



  1. So what does that say about me?

    That you’ve got good taste, and there are too many flawed gems out there?


  2. Yech. Blind dates. But most of my dates were blind because, well, I am blind!

    Yes, I’m still retarded.

    I don’t have any “real” advice. There are lots of turdsnacks out there. But I think the best way to meet people is to hang out a lot with people you _do_ like. That way maybe one of those people you do like will bring a friend that likes them, and, well, there you go.

    I’m trying to think about how many single ladies I know in Tucson…


  3. Not sure what that says about you, but I’m pretty sure that at 26 and single, there probably is something wrong with me.


  4. Well thank you. That’s certainly a nice way to think of it. I’ve been told I’m just “overly picky” but seriously. Life just strikes me as hard enough already when you don’t have a totally unsuitable partner bringing you down!

    I really do appreciate it!



  5. Oh, pish posh. You know you’re fabulous. At least you have excuses like a career, an insane family, and all that jazz. I’ve got no career (which actually is an impediment too), a relatively-normal-if-slightly-sanity-deprived family, and no jazz whatsoever. Besides. You’re a chick. You know you could walk into a bar and walk out with a boyfriend! 😉

    Hope you’re doing OK, and heartfelt condolences on your loss. I definitely have an idea as to what you’re feeling and I’m here if you need anything at all.



  6. You are, indeed, blind. And just a little retarded. But that’s why we love you. Especially because you use words like “turdsnacks.” Trust an English PhD Candidate to invent words of such wonderful . . . eloquence.

    And that’s totally how I’d like to meet women, but like certain previously mentioned over-edumacated people in Tucson, all of my friends up here are hitched, stay in all the time, and have no single friends left. I’m the token bitter divorcee who provides comic relief when necessary. Hey, at least I serve a valid function!

    Anywho. I’m going to make it down to Tucson some day, and you are certainly going to make it up here since you bailed on my grad party (monkey). Talk to you soon, Hollster!



  7. Well, cool. You should come down here. Who knows? There might be something interesting in Tucson…

    The “hitched” and “stay in” things are boring. I hate that. What is it with people who start getting into relationships and then suddenly drop everyone and everything just to hang out at home all the time? I mean, it doesn’t that THAT LONG to have sex! Besides, wouldn’t you get sore after a while?

    I’m so gross.

    Yes, you can definitely come down here. We’ll party hardy or something.


  8. Better the best than the extra baggage, I’d say. When you meet the right one, nothing’s worse than looking back on all the firsts and special moments that were taken by others.


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