A genuinely serious moment.

I know that I tend to be irreverent on this blog and will make fun of pretty much anything to get a laugh, if only from myself. But this time I want to talk about something serious. Those horrified by this thought may feel free to turn away now.

Yesterday evening I got a call out of the middle of nowhere from a young woman who is a recent friend of mine. We’ll call her S. S had previously told me she had a first date with some new guy last night, and I viewed it as a bad sign that she was crying so hard I couldn’t understand her. Apparently she was the victim of an attempted date rape. I did what I could to calm her down over the phone and asked if she was hurt. No. Did she want to go to the hospital? No. Did she want to go to the police? No. Why not? Because who would believe her?

Fucking hell.

S’s attitude seems to be pretty common in my regrettably not-terribly-limited experience. She agreed to the blind date (which was arranged via an online dating service) and so somehow that makes her a slut, which means that no one would believe that she wasn’t inviting it upon herself. I’ve known no fewer than a half dozen women who have been raped or have suffered attempted rape (that I know of) and of all of them, only two have ever taken the matter to the police (and one of those was because her parents found out and she was a minor at the time). All the rest felt as S did that even if they did come forward, the police would believe the man over the woman. And to my everlasting disappointment, the police did believe the rapist over my friend the other time that they were brought in. No arrest was ever made. As I was the one who convinced her to make the report, my disappointment is doubled (and if you should happen to read this, and you know who you are, I’m still sorry my dear).

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with our society that women who have had one of the ultimate trespasses committed against them are not given the benefit of the doubt in such a case? At the very least they are owed an investigation! Of course we must continue to presume innocence until guilt is established (especially because I’ve also known a guy who was wrongfully accused of rape and suffered for it), but I’ve seen how some people in positions of authority handle this with my own two eyes and I can’t even put into words my disgust.

Rant’s over. Sorry. I just get a little . . . angry . . . when people don’t treat women with respect.

As a final note, if anyone out there reading this got a little frisky with a girl last night who said “no” when she meant “yes,” then just wait. Karma will get you in the end.



  1. No. No one you know. And I’m hunting the man who did it. It’s not proving easy as S refuses to provide me with many details of the guy. I’m patient though.



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