Two Movies.

Both of them would likely be considered less-than-worthless by any number of people, but I found them both amazing in entirely different ways. Constantine is a (very liberal) movie adaptation of the DC/Vertigo comic series “Hellblazer”. Chris and I saw it Saturday afternoon and I was absolutely blown away. Keanu Reeves wasn’t fantastic, but he didn’t need to be. The plot was awesome, the support cast were extremely supportive, and the special effects were everything they should be. Can I say once again how much I love and adore Rachel Weisz?

The other movie is the considerably less high-brow and serious Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies (known in the US as Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle). This one was just plain fun. Make by the same guys who did Dude, Where’s My Car (not the best of pedigrees, I know), Harold and Kumar is about, amazingly enough, two guys named Harold and Kumar who smoke a whole lot of weed, get the titular munchies, and head off in search of the alternatively-titular White Castle to satisfy said munchies. Many misfortunes ensue including getting lost, encountering a very freaky Jamie Kennedy, encountering an even freaker towtruck driver suitably named “Freak Show”, and of course encountering a tripping Neil Patrick Harris; all while fighting racial prejudice (and the moronic “extreme” culture) every step of the way. Both Harold and Kumar are rather cult icons already, by the way. “Harold” (John Cho) played the infamous “MILF” lover in the American Pie movies, and “Kumar” (Kal Penn) was “Taj” in National Lampoon’s Van Wilder.

And now why I love them and placed them together on this post. First off for not taking themselves too seriously. Granted, Constantine was very much in danger of that right from the beginning. But it wasn’t too self reverential for all that it dealt with the end of the world and the coming of the Anti-Christ. And then there’s Harold and Kumar which I believe was entirely incapable of taking itself seriously at all. Plus I have to thank both movies for their hotties. The previously mentioned Rachel Weisz was her usual gorgeous self, but was also joined by Tilda Swinton who played the androgynous Arch Angel Gabriel. As befits any teen movie, Harold and Kumar was chock full of sexy creatures, but foremost among them was Columbian actress Paula Garcés who I really wish lived in my building. I do just HAVE to say that I’m vaguely worried that if Constantine does well in theatres that we’ll see an increase in stupid gothy kids trying to see into Hell by partially drowning themselves, only to screw things up and actually drown themselves. You never know what those idiot kids will do!

That’s probably enough playing at Siskel and Ebert. Sorry, Ebert and Roeper. Eh, who cares. Annoying guy and Annoying guy. Suffice to say that they have both recieved the Ash Seal of Approval. Now I’m off to stare at the ceiling a bit more.


“Lu. What took you so long?”
~Keanu Reeves (as John Constantine) to Peter Stormare (as Lucifer) – Constantine

“Here’s an extra $200. I made a little love stain in the back seat. You’ll see it.”
~Neil Patrick Harris (as Himself) – Harold and Kumar Get the Munchies

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