I complain a lot . . . because it’s funny.

And today it’s about movie theatres in Britain. There are a few people from back home who I’ve taken to movies. Hell, some of them are even still talking to me (OK, one is still talking to me: my Mom). Nonetheless, there are people out there who can back me up on some of this.

There are a lot of things that are just damned annoying about the way they show movies here, and I’m going to just talk about a couple of them:

Movies come out late – OK, so that’s not the movie theatre’s fault. Still, it’s pretty annoying that any number of movies don’t come out here until they’re already on video in the US. The major exception is of course Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban which actually came out a whole four days earlier in the UK than it did in the US. Never mind the fact that the distribution company still passed out night-vision goggles to try and stop us nasty audience members from pirating the movie (which has apparently still failed).

They’re expensive – Again, possibly not the theatre’s fault, but I can’t help but wonder. I know the cost of going to the movies has also increased in the US, but it’s still disgustingly expensive here. Regular tickets can cost in excess of £6 ($11 US), and even student discount tickets cost £3.75 ($7 US)! You know I recently got an e-mail joke from my brother entitled “25 ways you know you’ve grown up,” and one of them was that dinner and a movie is the whole date, not the start of one. You wanna know why that’s true? Because you can’t afford anything else anymore!

Commericals – As has already been discussed, you already have to pay between £3.75 and £6 to get into a movie. Plus you have to pay outrageous amounts for any popcorn, soda, or candy . . . so why is it that the British movie theatres feel they are justified in showing up to 20 minutes of commercials before the movie? Why why why why? We have already given you our money! You have no right to make more off of us by subjecting us to truly horrid advertising!

And in the same vein: UGC being so disgustingly in the pocket of OrangeOrange mobile phones have apparently made some deal with UGC. Not only have they bought the right to put blatant advertisements before any of the other commercials (their new “Orange Wednesdays” promo which is also of course plastered all over the lobbies and all the hallways), but we also have the priviledge of watching the annoying American (of course) “Orange Film Commission” make horrifyingly un-funny jokes right before the movie starts, the end message always being “Don’t let a mobile phone ruin your movie” (ie; turn them off). Of course, UGC goes on to repeat the message at least twice in their own little promo right afterwards. But you know what’s REALLY just downright wrong? People still don’t turn their phones off! No fewer than three times in the 94 minute movie I watched today did people actually answer their phones in the middle of the show! The cheek!

That’s enough for now. I’d also go on about the costs of those sundry snack items, the apathetic and unfriendly staff, the dirty theatres, the bad piped music, and the awful selections of movies that are actually shown; but to be honest, I just can’t be arsed. Have a groovy day.


“I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that’ll bring you trauma”
~Black Eyed Peas – “Where is the Love?”

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